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Feels

Feels like I've been sick for too long
Tired for too long
In pain for too long.

Like I'm crazy for being worried.
Like the fact that I've been misdiagnosed and had things go wrong coz things were caught too late, is bullshit.
Like I'm paranoid for asking the doctor a billion questions.

I just want to understand.

I'm not afraid of leaving, I'm afraid for the one I may leave behind.
If the tables were turned I wouldn't be strong about it.
I wouldn't be able to go on.
I would feel angry about it.
I wouldn't be able to move on.

I feel like there's still years of pain to come and that's OK.
I feel he shouldn't see that, he should move on.
That's just how I feel.

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