Nwold

The last few weeks have been relatively awesome. The recovery period has had it's ups and downs, some of the downs I thought would fade away but they haven't. It's not about "why me?" anymore, I know there's people living with far worse pain. Now I'm just determined to not let the pain get me down!!!!! Angeke!!

I feel so inadequate. Genuinely. I want him to want only me but that isn't the reality. That scares me because I want only him. What to do? I know I don't completely trust him anymore but...I love him. Unquestionably.

Best news ever...its only endometriosis!!! I've never been so happy to have something!!!!!!

Something always hurts. I always feel nauseous. The actual incisions are healing up though, silver lining. I feel off balance and dizzy half the time. I know life owes me nothing,but gdamn!! I know there are people in far worse condition but gdamn! The pills make me sick I need pills to stop the pain,I can't take them I must breathe through it gdam!! If I could find the cause and if it's me then I would happily endure,but for the life of me...this bad?

Yeah...still had the pain killer drip in my system for a couple of days...that's gone. Now pain. Randomly. But its OK. Coz I'm alive!!! And there's still loads of Marvel and DC movies to watch. Just wish I go outside and be OK, I want to get back to work.

2 days after surgery, my first nosebleed ever. Very strange