Nwold

Another thing I have noticed is that I easily get the sniffles, now I'm not sure if this is because I still have a piece of tooth still pressing on my nasal nerve thingie...but yeah ...getting easier to get sick these days. I'm not sure how to go about documenting these things, I'm just jumping in whenever something comes up.It will have to do.

Documenting all of this will help someone out there in the long run, I just wish I could be more positive,I wish I could have the urge to write here when a day goes by without serious anythings....ahhh I love those days. Those days are nice.

Actual side effects seem to be thw inside of my mouth pealing and my intestines swelling,  as well as my actual stomach just under my left rib cage swelling.  Im told this is normal.  Ok

We've met Are we not old aquaintences? We've met before Lets not waste time on formality. In another time,  in the same place Here we find ourselves again Old friend, pain again? Can you not harold joy? We've loved eachother From the first moment, and onwards until the last. Little star You always vanish and the darkness seeps in. Little star You give such hope, then fly on to the next solar system. Little star You warm my heart, ignite what warmth i have reserved. You are mine forever Time or space will not change that

Meds I know you're here to help but This sick is overflowing No matter how many pills Pills i consume I cant escape this forboding This insistent feeling "Im doomed" This cry-baby self-pity This self-loathing The silly notion that they pop within me That they squeezed the life out of them That they pop Pop Popping pills Too many pills. I obsess over their intentions I obsess over the minute details of their effects. I swear i didnt mean to think it It just popped into- Like one pops a pimple- Like one jumps into a pool of green stool-fresh water- Right into my dome. It can stop. We could sleep. One more pill. Then No more pills.

In high school I learned all about the explorers who braved "wild Africa" , how they "discovered" lands and peoples. How outposts were built and used as resting stops. I feel The West is still treating Africa like a pit stop. So then we start having that mentality, and that's not right. I'm guilty of making my time alive a pit stop, de-valuing myself. I'm gonna get where I want to go, and I'm going to do it in my own skin and on our African soil.

pent my morning getting an ultrasound check done. Confirmed what I already knew, so there is no real reason for me to be surprised, its just that now I have new worries and nightmares. I was sitting next to the most annoying little three year old girl, reminded me of my niece. She made my day.