Nwold

I love rainy weather, I like jumping and dancing around in the rain, I love walking in it without an umbrella....kissing in it isn't bad either - again without an umbrella - but this? ai ai ai ai ai ai ai....when I woke up it was raining, getting out of the house it was pouring, getting to school I got drenched,now I'm just thinking about getting home without being rained down on by gods tears...okay not Gods tears per say, perhaps they are just tears that fall from the sky...point is damnit! I'm not liking this rain....

Seems to me the more I walked around questioning everything the less whole I felt, even now as I embrace the idea of faith, I still feel empty and limited. I feel narrowminded and small. I used to believe it was those who pushed their own religion onto others who were narrowminded, don't get me wrong - they are - but they had a goal in life, a sense of knowing. religion and and their faith gave them something to look forward to and work towards for their whole lives. I would like that, 'cept, its not possible for me. To think of religion for me is to look on the clouds and marvel at their impossibility or watch a tree and breathe with it and marvel at its liveliness,its oldness,its complexity. That for me is spiritual, I am satisfied with this; I am content. I yearn for something now and I believe it is the wanting of community, to find others like myself. First I must me completely then.

We all need atleast one in our lifetime, that friend that laughs at you when you fall but is right there to pick you up and tell you to "watch where you're going next time", the friends I had in highschool were cool maaaaaaayne! And now that we have officially drifted it kinda reminds me why we were friends in the first place ; same kind of crazy x 5, and now we see others from our year have stuck together and kept their bonds...in my opinion every friendship will differ in life because we are not the same as people. imagine always doing something or making the same decision, even though it does not work for you, just because you assume it is the right thing to do...does not sound fun. This friendship is gonna last a while; no matter how far we drift we keep coming back.

Family is just fun man!!!! I dont know why I never saw this before but even when you are very angry with them or them with you, you still just love em to bits. This is my sister and my dad and my mom and I

My cousins daughter ( therefore my niece) is an aspiring model and has been invited to partake in an event in Bulgaria this May. She is awesome, still very much a child she is grounded and has moxy - which is a good combination - so chech her out and if you know of anyone  who can help make her dream come true pls do contact myself at Themzaporki@gmail.com or e-mail me and I will send you her mothers numbers. http://www.modelcup.co.za/memberProfile.php?idMember=4860

You never know what you are, who you are or where it is you belong until something comes along to test you, and these tests come in many forms. Theres always that one day where everything goes completely wrong but at the end of the day you can smile because for some strange corny reason you learned something from all the chaos, you wake up the next day with the biggest smile on your face. I wonder if that is confirmation of our insanity; learning stuff we might need in future from horrific events.

It ends Mon, 05/30/2011 - 21:59 — Kortez The end of an era, The dawn of eternity. What the stars cannot fathom is the brightness with which I shine, now. This new unchartered land does not mock or patronize, it lays open and inviting. It is by my own faith that this valley stretches out into a rich valley of lush, green life. It is by my sheer will that I have deduced the direction in which I must head. I crave no more, the mundaneness of uniformality. An individual of note, I now know who it is I want to be. Now, I am sure. I want to be the many me''s. The silent me, who shys away from attention. The boisterous me, who craves attention, needs excitement. The vengeful me, who can never be tamed. I am three, I am me, I am in short , an anomaly. So it ends, a new era ascends to take the place of the epoch that had consumed me. It ends now.

The situation ends. Mon, 05/30/2011 - 21:59 — Kortez My grasp on things has loosened, weakened. Visions of being in control have fast faded into the locked away parts of my mind. That first touch, hesitant and comprehensive Progressed into a passionate stronghold, that could never be reassured. I let go, once or twice,at your request. Not wanting to hold on to shards of you, of us After I''d squeezed the life out of you, of us And watched us crack,break, fall. We watch now as the space gets bigger. We smile, weakly now, as the strain sets in. we watch,we smile, we stare; we used to gaze and now we stare. we touch, we kiss, we fake laughter; we used to laugh hysterically, laugh carelessly not knowing that we would run out of joy. we.us.you.me. Plurals that were forged from singular beings; me and you Now we watch our birthed plural disintegrate into a solitary single. There is no why or how or when or who. There is no fixing this. There is no cure, no solution...

I don't arrive late on purpose, I don't really...but when I do and things don't go right because of someone else and not myself tjr it makes me so damn angry....like what the heck?!!!! Seriously not having a very good morning today but I guess thats how we learn to do better by avoiding idiots next time and waking up just ten minutes earlier or not getting a taxi from that specific place that morning argh...shoulda woulda coulda will not help me now....